eunice♥jesus

Sparklers, gbye

2009-09-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

Hi sparklers,

I'm leaving this for good. Gbye. Cya at xanga.

UnicornsAndCherries

Truckloads of blessings & luv,
Eunice

2009-09-08T12:55:00.002+08:00

The angels cry holy, holy, holy, holy is the the Lord
We all cry holy, holy, holy, holy, holy is the Lord

The greatest pleasure: returning home to my Father, singing praises of Him with a pure heart. Won't it be good to be back home? I can't wait, can't wait. Can't wait to be with my Father.

If I'm going away for a little escapade, I'll bring:
1. Not to sound superficial, my bible.
2. Ipod
3. Camera
4. Money

I need to be away for a while, a break, a little escape. To be new, to be different. That's what's playin' on my itunes now. And that's what I need.

Lord, You take centre stage. You take centre stage. And all of me shall revolve around You.

2009-09-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry jammmmmmmmmm, I had to go back home for lunch then training. I'm really sorry (if you're even reading this) And, I've got vvv gooood news! No tchoukball for two weeks. Should I be sad, or should I be sad? Hmph, oh well. I don't think I'll be chosen for the team >:( I'm saaaaaaad. And I think they know about my little secret :-( How? Anyway, we're all gonna have our exams soon, so study hard k. And I'll be praying for you guys too (L)(K)

I like my tchoukball fwenzxzxzx. And I like my swimmer friends too. But I just need some time, a break from swim. It's not like I've swam for years, but I'm a wee bit annoyed at swim, at my progress. Give me some times, I'll be okay :-)

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. Amen. I'll wait upon the Lord, I'll wait upon the Lord, I'll wait upon the Lord.

2009-09-04T20:21:00.000+08:00

I've realised I've been swearing a lot recently, even if I don't say it out, it's screaming within me. What happened to honouring God with your lips? What happened to not letting anything that defiles you come our of the same mouth that you use to honour God? And, I'm fighting with mum again, over Tchoukball (very smart). What happened to honouring your father and your mother? What happened? I don't have answers. Let's just say, that because I haven't been doing QT for the past week. Talking about spending time with God, what happened to my little notes in my schedule book that i wrote: even during my busiest times (now), I should make God my first priority? What happened? Everything's been pretty messed up (I refuse to say screwed up, it sounds awful). I'm about 1 week behind my study schedule. Which is pretty bad, because that means that I have to crash eveyrthing during hold next week. K, now the timetable is out. And let me scream "PRAISE THE LORD", because exams have been pushed back for 10days, leaving me with more time to make up for lost time. Thank God :-

Monday: Now, what did I do? Oh, aces day. Yup, CO wins it all (operative wins, present tense, that's gonna be the way it is till the end of school year, luv you) Yup, good job CO, I luv you, we've all done v well (L)Apparently, teachers' day celebrations were quite bad. Oh, I saw Jenny! (janooi)
Tuesday: Claire's house for venetian tribune. Srsly? We didn't do much. And that shall explain my indignance yesterday and today (geekness)& down to queenstown to get kneepads (no more bruises ^^v)
Wednesday: Chinese tuition
Thursday: Skipped honours day. K, I didn't skip, I thought I was going for training at night, apparently not, not anymore for thursdays. Attempted to study. I did study alright. Just very little. Stayed up till 11 to rush out venetian tribune (thanks, my pretty group) And, I spent 4 and a 1/2 hours on it. that's like 1/2 hour per page.
Friday: Big spoiler at school, to find out that my venetian tribune wasn't gonna be used, for a slip-shod 2 and a 1/2 hour work with edited pieces. Hello, I didn't even receive the edited ones. What happened to teamwork?

Next week
Monday: Back to school to collect blazer, run through
Wednesday: SMP at nanyang polytechnic

Yup, that's about all. And, I'm morphing into a nerd. Skool's beginning to rule my lyfe, for real. Because I was excited to get the exam timetable. -,- NERD4LYFE! Why was I even excited. But I was def happy that exams are postponed! ^^v Thank God, again (L)

2009-08-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

K, I failed in my recent attempt to go on a computer hiatus, and the very start was wednesday? I forgot. Oh well.

Monday: Studying for chem
Tuesday: Training. And Coach, it's not that I'm not kicking, maybe I forgot how to kick. Maybe I don't even know how to kick. And it's ridiculous. I think I'm not very interested in training anymore, with me annoying/angering Coach, and me being unfit and annoyed by Coach. Perhaps, I'm not annoyed at Coach, I think I'm just annoyed at myself for not being able to kick. I should just not do nationals next year. Good idea, yes? Being unfit is frustrating me, because I can no longer catch up with the team, and I don't know why, I think it's my kick, AGAIN. But, whatever. Failure at studying.
Wednesday: Chinese tuition, studying
Thursday: Training cancelled - rain&thunderstorm. And so, we did swim admin stuff. And Rae's vice capt! (: I'm genuinely happy. Srsly, I'm so uninterested in training anymore. And I'm even more annoyed. Not with the new swim 'board' or whatever. But I'm annoyed at tuesday training. I may not be a leader yet, but I know my God has greater plans for me. I may not want to be a cca leader, considering that I'm v uninterested. But I think God placed me in swim for a reason. And I shall find out soon. I'm excited for God's plans! ^^v
Today/Friday: Studying. I'm like a few chapters behind my schedule, I need to get serious.

I'm srsly considering not doing nationals next year. I should think over it. It's a tempting option. And, yessssss, training is suspended. Maybe by the time training resumes after eoys, I'll be okay for training and whatever. Maybe, the operative word. Eveyrthing is so uncertain. But it's okay, I know my God has plans for me. I know my God has wonderful plans in store for me. And my God will provide. My God will suffice.

Your grace is enough for me.

2009-08-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

Yup yup, and again it's sunday. And I'm on a technology hiatus again from tomo. Oh well. I've gotta study harder now with tchoukball and everything. And I'm not complaining about tchoukball. I refuse to. And I luv JAM! K, that was random. But it's a church day.

/edit If you read the post i wrote last sunday, srsly, you're mad.

Today:
Church (jam went for movies, GIJOE >:( oh well, I need discipliine. And they went to dino's house to wii after. Annoying much? I need discipline)
Home, prata (yumzzzzzzz)
Tchoukball: The coach was like "who's she?" Then he was quite nice. Then I kept getting my throws the "netball way" (I don't even do netball -,-), so I think i pissed my coach off (though he's nice) and I'm so sorry Lynn, you had to keep getting all my lousy throws. But I promise, I'll remember to think before I throw k!! :) And, I'll remember to get my leg right. I have srs hand eye coordination problem. So, if that is solved, then maybe I can go wii at dino's house (hawhaw, guitar hero drumssssssssss) and own JAM, hawhaw. 8-) And, I really hope mum will allow me to attend the thursday trainings to. Mum, if you're reading this, which i highly doubt you even know I'm writing this. Anyway, if you are, I'm hoping that I can stay in the training programme. And I've gotta have 75% attendance, if I'm not attending thursdays, then I'll only have 50%, then I'll be kicked out of the training prog. Which I don't want to, mum. So, yup. And mum, I promise that I'll study hard and I won't neglect my work. Consideirng the fact that I already am on a technology hiatus till after eoys (with the exception of weekends) But I think at the rate I'm going, I've gotta sacrifice till after eoys. Oh dear :-( Besides, I srsly think I'll be kicked out of the training prog, I'm like one of the lousiest? K, fine, the lousiest. I keep getting my throws and legs and jumps wrong. What is wrong with my brain. But, in my defence, I don't even do ball games.

kk, enough about Tchoukball. Goodbye my friends. Till next time (K)

2009-08-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

I survived a 5-day technology hiatus. And I'm supposed to be printing my chem answer key and LA notessssss. Yup, and I just heard from twin that yifanjiaolian left!! Omg, why!! And anjiaolian is coaching ENDURANCE. WHY!! Srsly, they're v good coaches, and they're nice!! >:( I'm angry at ____ (you know what club that is)So, twin and i will be visiting anjiaolian after exams. Yupyup, but he won't remember me. He calls me "na ge shei" and I would respond so there was no point in remembering my chinese name. HAWHAW 8-)

Did i do the right thing?

& my study plan is working. Praise the Lord!

i'm taking a hiatussssssssss, tusk tsk

2009-08-16T14:35:00.000+08:00

HAHAH
Why do you restrict me from laughing? I laugh when I want to. Talking about laughing, I realised hoe much I've changed. Maybe it's a sucky day, but it's a sunday! And sundays are church days, and I absolutely luv my church/ going to church, with jam! 8-) Maybe, I'm just thinking too much for my own good. Well, that, Song agrees. Hmm, talking about Song, I need to thank him. Yup yup, I need to! Kkayz, I'll go find his number later (HAHA, sorry Song, I lost your number. "Can I have yo numba?" HAHAHAH) Yes, those were the funny stuff I laugh at. Note: were, past tense. My brain operates in such a way now: Hi. My name is Eunice. I'm almost fourteen... (and then what I'm gonna start thinking about continues) Am I weird, or am i weird? Anyway, as I was saying, I've changed so much, that I think it's kinda scary. K, what about this. I read through my blog, from the first post to the very latest one, and maybe that's what they call phases. I don't know?? I'm talking like this, and I think I'm scaring myself. The way I'm typing now, it's different, it feels hostile? Yup, hostile, I'm narrating a story from a stranger, myself. I'm annoying myself now, by thinking too much. :-( K, point. I laughed at almost everything. (past tense) I laughed at them, because I geniunely found them funny. Everything then was funny, at least to me. Then, now, everyone can be laughing, and I can be laughing with them, even though I don't find anything funny. Yes, I don't find anything funny now. Yes, I have a very cheap sense of humour. So what? And I'm speaking in such a bold way, 'So what?', it's almost not me. No, it's not even me. Or am i not it? I'm confusing myself. And I tend to swear a lot recently. I'm trying to curb that. Yup, that word hasn't even crossed my mind since this morning! 8-) Maybe because it's a church day! ^^v

Maybe, it's the exam stress. Yes, I'm turning into a nerd. 8-| So what? I repeat, SO WHAT? Do you have a problem with that? Maybe, it's time to close down my blog. One distraction down. (: And maybe, I'll keep it secret, maybe tell a few close friends. Yup, I shall decide again after examsss. Oh, I've pledged to not go out till after EOYs, that is, October. It was actually private, since I didn't know if I could fulfil it. Then, I told Diana, so now it's official. And, I've marked 'self-grounded' for all sundays on my schedule book 8-) I'm happy (is that possible? Yup yup)

It's a very long post, I know. Should I allow reader comments? Do you even read this?

Yes, I'm almost happy in class, almost happy in school, maybe not very happy in training. I don't know? I don't remember the happy times. But today is a happy day! It's a sunday! (: And, I'm ABSOLUTELY happy in church. Yup, the people culture aside, I really like being in church, I really like knowing God. No, I really love knowing God. And now, all I've gotta do is to fully submit myself to God. Is it possible to trust God and not being able to submit yourself? I don't know. Yup, and I'm really happy with my answer today.

"Who is God to you?"
My answer: My Best Friend (:

I luv talking to God, because you know your secrets are safe with Him, because you know that He will always be listening to you, because you know that He is always there. Yup, that was what that went through my mind when I told myself "My Best Friend" I'm happy 8-)

K, I'm allowing comments.

And, I'm attempting (you wish it was a suicide) to go on a hiatus till after EOYs. I hear the scream of "geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek" now. But, I'm gonna say, SO WHAT. Tell me that one more time, I'm gonna slap you. No, I'm not, I'm gonna smile.

Oh, and I've gotta try to show what's beneath the facade, the mask, that's getting increasingly heavy. That's hurting me to even try to put up with the show any longer. Will you care to have a sneak peek? Maybe, smiling through everything is still the best option? I don't know.

What's beaneath that facade?

Fluroscent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

2009-08-10T15:55:00.000+08:00

I'm currently listening to funny songs. Actually, it's been a long time, and I just realised, they call it sexy indie pop :* HAHAHAHA, sounds reaaaaaaal goooooooood. And i write the funniest (/stupidest) things on condolence cards.
e.g. Coach's card
I'm so sorry about the news, k. God bless you. And I'm so sorry i don't know what to write, but I'll be praying! God bless, Eunice (L)

HAHAHAHAH, omg, I phail. kkayz, I'm not gonna write anything for Coach, becuz I've written what i wanna say (not exactly, since I really don't know what to write.) But, be that big giant, coach, stay strong! (:

AND, I've not been to church for 2 weeks, becuz of my cough :( Iblame myself for eating junk and chocolates and chips.

kkayz, there's a long list of people's bday, actually two. HAHAHA

HAPPY 14TH ESSSSSSSSSSS
You've been really gr8. And I like the food you bring to school for break everyday. HEHEHE, I'm such a pig. And I like you for loving the nasi lemak with extra chili fro mthe malay store. HAHAHA "Nasi lemak?" LUV YOU

HAPPY 14TH AARON
YOU, annoying friend. I don't really know what to say for you. But you've definitely been a good partner for YM@sentosa ^^v And becuz I don't have naything else to say, today's happy memory shall be you. (:
aaron: k, we should introduce ourselves
me: k
aaron: you start first
me: NO, YOU
aaron: NO
me: fine, hi everyone, I'm Eunice and I swim (with Rachel in the same club!!) used to
aaron: hello, I'm Aaron, and I'm a national archer
me: WHUTTTTTTT, annoying! shut up manzx
aaron: HUH

HAHAHAHAHAHA, that's really long, and trust me aaron, I'm fourteen k! >:(

2009-08-04T16:08:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BDAY CLAIRETANSHIYING
You're the most retarded friend I've ever had, and you're awesome becuz you laugh at yourself when I laugh at you ^^v LUV YOU (L)

k, I'm so sorry, I can't think of any funny memories of you, claire, but I will! (:

SarahChia(preciousjade)WeiLin & SarahWong(burrrtrrrrayerrr)HuiYi
chia: eh, shhhh, okay, i'm gonna study now
me: ohhhhkayyyy, let me see. Ooh, this is a periodic table! mr lau's mad about this
chia: HAHAHAH, really
me: yes, okay, try pronouncing this word
chia: un...un...un...un...unium HAHAH
me: that's you, unununium
swong: what's that?!!
me: it's unununium, chia's new name! HAHA
swong: huh, isn't anyeong like hello in korean?
me &chia: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
swong: *ttly confused

2009-08-03T22:08:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BDAY TRINA
thank you for being my funny partner, making me laugh at mr tee for his spelling/grammar/pronunciation errors. thank you for laughing together with me at you-know-who. thank you for the yummy food you bring during break. thank you for just being you, Trina (:

TRINA
mr tee: .........
trina: uh, sorry, mr tee, i think you spelt that word wrongly
mr tee: oh reeeeeeeelee? oh right. thank you trina
me: HAHAHAHAHAH
trina: what? i just can't stand it that he spelt that word wrongly okay?

that's just how funny you are, even though you aren't funny, i laugh at you. ^^v HAPPY FOURTEENTH TRINA (L)

hi, sparklers

2009-08-01T20:19:00.003+08:00

I'm done with geography and two chapters of history! And I've printed my chemistry and history lesson notes. I feel so accomplised. (Y) K, I officially announce, I'm a geek 8- oh well ):
I've decided, I'm gonna write/post a happy memory about a different person everytime i blog! ^^v

Hans: hey, where are you guys?
Me: Hi Hans, oh. We're at Hans
Hans: ...
Me: OH, HAHAHAHAHAHAH

omgg, epic fail

I'm not gonna be in school till Wednesday, oh joy~ ): I won't be able to catch up. And Mr Lau has just started on the most difficult chapter, separation of chemicals. It's 18 pages long, woah~ And I've just read the email from Anira about the Venetian Tribune, and I don't understand a single thing. ):

2009-07-31T16:43:00.003+08:00

This is gonna be a long one, k.

Few days ago i was reading chia's bongtikki, and for the zone concert, she posted these lyrics:

Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity.

The first thing that came to my mind was Hans telling Tsidkenu last year at YM camp during bible study, "do you know what it really means? it carries with it a heavy meaning." Then, it got me thinking. How many times a day is God's heart broken? Probably, uncountable. How much pain would God have to bear? Defintely, unbearable to us humans.

For many, this phrase may come along naturally during worship, at a spiritual high. When I thought over it, I asked myself if I really meant it. The answer was pretty clear. To put it simply, I was worshipping with my lips, and not from my heart. And nothing else matters to God, because He looks at what is within.

Throughout the day, I sang this phrase "break my heart for what breaks Yours" over and over again. Then it really struck me, if I truly love God, then this would be nothing.

(edit) I read through this post again, and I realised what I first wanted to say. When we feel/know how much it hurts our God (who already gave His one and only Son for us, and made so many sacrifices for us, who do not even deserve such love) to see us sin, then we will constantly be reminded to be holy, for Jesus is holy, for our God is holy. (does that make sense? i'm so sorry, my thoughts are very disorganized)
__________

Yesterday, something else made me ponder again. If I were to blog what I had written above, the people who read it will be edified. Isn't this the same as speaking in tongues? By speaking in tongues, you edify yourself. But by preaching to your church, the people who hear you will be edified. (it's somewhere in the bible)
___________

Oh well, the second thought is uncompleted. And i really should be studying my History now. ):

2009-07-30T17:30:00.002+08:00

You realise, I haven't been blogging much. And that's probably because I've haven't got anything to blog about. Having a fever (& throat infection/inflammation) is not very nice. Partly because being sick made me miss the biotech fair. Well, we got a merit award. Thank God! ^^v I've been studying hard these few days I've been at home, revising/memorising my geography. And i'm trying to make excuses for myself not to study my history now. I so badly want to run across the street to buy apples and flour to bake the yummy apple pie. ): Oh right, i just realised I've still got a part of my geography assignment uncompleted, it's due tomorrow, mind you.

Yes, I'm turning into a geek. Please call me a geek. Thanks.
School is ruling my life. And i don't seem to have any power against it. ):

2009-07-23T21:01:00.001+08:00

hell, yeah, i'm going for hillsong ^^v. thank God. i've already missed 4/5 chances to go, becuz i turned them down (how stupid). and now that hillsong concert is so near, and bose just said she has an extra ticket. thank God. it'll be gooooood, i'm sure (LL)

2009-07-19T21:26:00.007+08:00

God is good. God is always there, we just have to believe in Him. God is faithful, because He is faithful even when we are faithless. God is living, He is always working on us.
What more can i speak of the God i serve. What more can i speak of God, who has shown me so many things, i can't even thank Him, for He has given me many things i do not deserve. And one thing to note, my Father gave us Jesus Christ, what more can i ask for. What more can i ask for than His grace? I do not deserve all these, but He gave it to me so freely. What more can i say, i love my God, because He loves me too, He loves you too.

You're all i need, You're everything, You're all i need, You're everything, everything

2009-07-17T22:48:00.001+08:00

Revelations 16:12
15th July 2009 The Straits Times page A16

thank ewww, sarah chia for the message

then, i learnt, to keep faith, for my Father is fighting this battle for me, and with me and i'll be strong and courageous LUV you, Daddy

2009-07-13T17:32:00.003+08:00

k, let me sidetrack for a bit from reading my lit. ): i can't believe what i just told dino, and i kind of regret what i'm hearing now. why is it always like that? i didn't mean to blog this, but i couldn't help it. k, i just have to get over it.
let's change a topic, since what i'm saying now, erased that stupid grin. k, THANK GOD, for improvements in chinese &history. i made it, by His grace. THANK GOD (:
k, i forgot what i wanted to blog about, so, gbye lovelies (L)

get over it, eunice, no biggie, it'll all be the same again, really, get over it.

2009-07-12T21:56:00.004+08:00

12th july 2009- jam date (K)
lunch at hans after prayer&praise svc without becky. then liz, claudia (new friend!) and benedick left. dino, zenn (new friend too, woohoo~), jonathan, ethan, douglas, nicz and me went to ps. dino and jonathan left. so we went to watch a movie, decided on duplicity, wah, thanks man, dino. HAHAH, the movie's horrible. rating negative manzx. ethan and douglas kept leaving, hahahaha, they went to stare at megan fox for a while, heheh. nicz, zenn and me were like "walao, shit man, i'm wasting like ten bucks and two and a half hours on this stupid confusing movie" HAHAHA, omggg, srsly, it sucked. ): oh well, then zenn left. went to the arcade. ethan and douglas suck at playing the sweet game. HAHAH, ethan picked up two, douglas said he was lousy, then he couldn't get any. mega -,- HAHAH. then i left for khatib (sp?). wah, thanks ah, nicz, tell me one hour ride. then i left in a hurry. reach there to waste my time. zzzzzz -,- oh well. (yes, if you've realised, no pictures. apparently, they weren't fans of taking pictures WEH :'( )

rain down on me, rain down on me, here in Your presenc i am free, rain down on me, come and touch me again.

2009-07-07T17:48:00.003+08:00

k, the pictures/polaroid of the ayg swim are on fb, omggg, so unglam alrightzzz. hahahah

i think i got a prank call, y'know. and the person just said "douglas". hmmm, douglas, the jam one? i think that's the only douglas i know. whatevs, this is wasting time.

today, things didn't go well. i got pulled aside for a 'talk', rightttttt -,- oh well.

God, You take centre stage.
but it's not easy, but letting Him take centre stage, everything falls into place, nicely, just as how He willed, just as how He so carefully paved out that pavement for me. thank You, Lord Daddy (L) i luv You

2009-07-06T14:17:00.002+08:00

have i told you? how scared i am now? i'm so scared, so afraid. i don't know if i can do it, anymore.
i h8 school, what's the problem with school! what's with this emotional kill! this system encourages us to be like huntsmen. in such an education-concerned society, we are forced to be like cruel scavengers, it's like a warfield.
i don't even know what i'm talking about, becuz all this is so confusing right now. i've got a thousand and one things in my head, and i don't know where to begin.
talking to dino was really good. and now talking to joedi, it just stuck me that i haven't exactly been studying since term 2 started. it makes me so, scared. i don't even know why i'm so scared.
i need to study. NAO

Oh Lord Daddy, there's no fear in perfect love
i've just contradicted myself. WEH :'(

sexayyyyye phats

2009-07-04T16:55:00.003+08:00

what type of boys do you go for?
my choice: the pete wentz type

HELLA YEAHHHH

i h8 fb, they keep giving me bikinis as clothes. like, srsly, do you see this fat kid walking on the streets in a dang bikini, with a gross tanline? HAHAH, NO. -,-

k, now fb gives me a neon green zebra print bikini -,-

HAHAHAHAHAH, k. a verse from the bible (:

For I can do anything through Christ, who gives me strength (Phillipians 4:13)

2009-07-03T20:10:00.002+08:00

updatezzzz, yo
1. there's a dent in my ankle
2. i h8 hockey sticks
3. my chinese tuition teacher scolded me for not being serious. :( like, srsly, i'm trying k, i don't even know how come i can't remember those chinese words.
4. mum's still banging things around
5. i'm so sad i didn't go meet jam at kap. WEH :'(

can't wait for:
1. ayg swim (: hahah, only rae and i are going
2. church

i'm so lazeeeeeee, i can't be bothered to type.

2009-07-02T20:38:00.002+08:00

mum's angry again. because she thinks i've snuck out to town again. when i was in school doing my report for biotech -,- today's pw really sucked at first. i was rushing to do my part with the stuupid laggy computer in the lab. and azmie said he didn't rbing his laptop, when he did (!!!) omgggg, i was like rushin' like mad, then he took out his laptop. i was like wtSHIZZZZZZZZZ. then i got so angry with the dang computer, i almost cried :'( omggg, so embarrassing alright!
then, after i was done, i was like uber high. HAHAH.

watching spooky mrt tunnels is fun(ny). hahah, huifen and i were like, "what if you see someone in the tracks" "what if you see a red high heels in the track" "what if you see someone waving at you in that station that's not functioning" HAHAH, omggg, heheh.

sarah chia precious jade! you're not a failure. you're not a disappointment! God's proud of you, and i'm proud of you too!! study hard, sarah chia. (:

2009-06-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

i luv jam, my friendzeepanzeefrangipaneechimpanzees
k, i really luv my small group. they're v awesome (: heheh. an di got to know this siwmmer better! 200m breaststroke. i'm gonna hunt him down with subway cookieeeeez. hahah. k, i really luv my small group. (: (i'm repeating this, becaus ethey're really bonding! just as we hoped) thank God! jiacheng asks why i'm not in ayg, and he thinks i'm on national team. omggggg, HAHAH. k, i'm really luving my church, even though i may not know like a lot of people. but it's okay. (: (it's okay, y'know swonghy. she thinks i'm antisocial because i don't know sec twoooos. and that's becaus ei'm in a sec three group) and they're cool. HAHAH. but i'm the coolest! alright, this is gettin' a little irritating to me.

ANDANDAND i'm so proud of myself for running 2km today! (cheer!) heheh. and i'm so proud of marieanne (or is it marieann?) she ran today too! but after me -.- oh well, but she ran!! like she always wanted to (: happy much!

THANK GOD (: I LUV YOU EVEN MORE, LORD DADDY

2009-06-28T19:18:00.002+08:00

I LUV WESLEY YM
k, even though i didn't atten xt bbq and iris' party, i still luv wesley ym (: i really really want to go, alright. parentals, friendzeepanzees. i'm v sorry. let's go watch HARRY POTTER, (omg, dino wants to watch transformers) HMPH, then harry potter will lose!! but i want to watch harry potter!! HMPH, alright.

school's back tomo, and i can't exactly say i'm unhappy, or excited. i'm like neutral. idk why!! even when school's out, i don't party. (yeahhhh, i'm a good girl :D ) but when school's back, it means homework. yuckzzzz. but that doesn't mean that i luv school alright?

take me deeper, take me deeper than i've been before, Jesus i want more, Jesus i need more. Lord, i need more and more of You.
i really really really luv my church, and you know God's restoring/changing JAM, i really really luv JAM, if anyone of you reads this, (do you?) can you feel God within us, jammers? and doooodes, stop sleeping during sermons .__. and the sec ones are playing handphone games during sermon. tsktsk.

hahah, talking about handphone games. today this sec one boy was playing with his handphone, so nicole and i were irritated (distracted, k, more of irritated, alright!)
eunice: that boy v distracting
nicole: i dare you to stop him
eunice: (leans over) i dare you to stop him!
nicole: aiyah, actually we can't do much 'bout it, look at the guys in our small group, they're sleeping!
eunice: what the

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, omg, stop sleeping

k, thx, buaiixz, qin ai de peng you men! (yucks)

2009-06-27T19:53:00.004+08:00

k, first, i want to thank God. (hahaha, this feels like a speech) for reminding me that whatever happens, He's always there, and reminding not to cuss. k, thanks. (i can never thank You enough, because i don't deserve such love, Lord Daddy) :D

alright, i'm def going down to haji lane, when school's out. omgomgomg, when i've got all the moolahhhhh. k, shopping spree. whoooolaaalaaaaa! (k, retarded)
hmmmm, school's kickin' in this comin' monday. oh well, so the next time school's officially out, it's the end year hols .__. whatevs, alright, everything's gonna be like some kind of a whirlwind with all the crap results. ):

k, baiixbaiix, wo de hao peng you. (gross)

/edit. i've got only $10 bucks in my wallet, how rich (: HAHAHAHAHA, ): (change topic) i think i'm falling for you again. ):

2009-06-22T12:35:00.002+08:00

am talking to swonghy now:

PEACE, LOVE & ICE CREAM! vita dolce says:
fattybum
socialite geek says:
whatevs, fattysumo
socialite geek says:
heheh, fattybum has kimbum
socialite geek says:
fattysumo has a mole

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

k, i really have nothing to do. i've done math (check), assessment (check), studied geography (check). booooya! omg, i feel so accomplished, alrightttt. (:
k, this is really irritating me (change topic). i didn't realise you were like that. and this time, i'm gonna drop it like it's hot. alright, that was really lame :* whatevs
oh, and i don't really know what to post on my blog anymore. not like i actually know. but it used to come naturally. and that's bad news, ain't it? oh well.

Lord Daddy, You give and take away. Today, let me sing an anthemn of love for You, and You alone.

IT WAS A CONSIDERABLY LONG POST, DESPITE THE FACT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT._____. ALRIGHT, GBYE, FRIENDZEEPANZEES (:

2009-06-17T12:55:00.000+08:00

racing heartbeats, it's like dejavu again

2009-06-16T15:14:00.002+08:00

doors slamming, creeping out into the dark night.
i quarrelled with my mum last night, just because i didn't do any assessment. when i was actually done with all my projects. -_____-
now, i can't be bothered to quarrel with her. because i know, i've done my work.
can't be bothered, yes, i can't be bothered
so now, i'm grounded
why? because my mum thinks i've been sneaking to town even when i'm doing srp research in school. because a certain idiot (mind me) told her i was almost last in class -.- (YOU WISH I WAS LAST!)
G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D

2009-06-15T19:12:00.002+08:00

you stole my heart, what am i to do without it?
it's killin' me, you don't know, it's killin' me
stop, please, stop
will you?

qt's been v fun (: luv it, i'm luving the time i spend with God, because it opens me up to another perspective. it allows me to repent on wrongdoings. it allows me to thank God for ever little thing He has done for me (:

grrrrrrrrrrrahhhhhhhhhhhhh, tomo's fly ):

because my God's my best friend. because my God listens. because i know, my secrets are safe with my God (: just because i have faith in my wonderful God (L)

2009-06-13T15:49:00.002+08:00

you're making my walk miserable, because you don't know how everything you do, you turn my head spinning.
i lose control
fighting with a heart, so painful, it's difficult. it's so difficult, it hurts.
you don't know, you don't know
let me go, let me go.

2009-06-07T20:21:00.003+08:00

TGD at di's house: ANOTHER BRAINLESS ENTERTAINMENT. i couldn't play the drums on guitar hero because i had bad hand-eye coordination ): oh well, i luv wii fit.

k, now that it's the holidays, all the more i have got time to spend with God, praising Him, worshipping Him. but, it just doesn't seem to be working out. i've not been doing quiet time faithfully. yes, i'm ashamed.
a clean bible is a dirty mind. k, i'll highlight my bible with all the quotes that speaks to me. yes, i will.
which bible should i get? the pretty pink one or the jeans one? the pink ones' nice, like, it's got this section where you can zoom in to when you've got problems. (because it's the teen one -,-) the jeans one is the normal one. OH OH, OR THE UBER UBER BEEEEEEEEYOUUUUUUUUTEEEEEFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL metal one. omgoshomgoshomgosh, i really don't know which to get. k, i'll pray and ask.
ask, and you shall get. seek, and you shalll find.
my heavenly Father promises to answer even before i call, to listen while i ask. (Isaiah 65:24)

2009-05-29T20:03:00.002+08:00

k, it's been an eventful week. tests, projects, open house, project works, my gosh, the list just goes on! :/ oh well, today's the last day of term 2!! omgoshomgoshomgosh, i'm so egggggggggggggggggggggggggcited! awesome, how come i don't feel like it's the hols! :(
let's see, first week's SMP&language arts (HAHAH, i haven't told my mum :/) 2nd week's history proposal week& revision of term1&2 bio&physics&history&geography (THANKS, LAU!!!! -,-) lau made me feel guilty about frogetting everything, so i'm gna study! omgosh, surprise! :)and this will last till tuesday of week 3. then i'll get 3 days rest! yes, only 3 days k!!! and the fourth&last week is studying for geography&history
k, SCHOOL&HOMEWORK IS RULING MY LIFE! :( FINE, CALL ME A GEEK! holiday's are horrible. so technically, I ONLY GET THREE DAYS OF RELAXATION&REJUVENATION!
holidays are mean to me :(

2009-05-23T14:20:00.003+08:00

oh well, i've realised: i've been writing funny stuff here, stuff that i may not want people to know. but, here, people will see. people will know. k, so i'll write them in my twitter :)
k, yesterday's talk was... hmmm? i guess, okay. hahah, me,trina,claire&anira, kept talking&laughing , well, basically making noise, until ms tmf turned around and galred at us.
"the four of you. come see me later"
HAHAHA. k, it's funny now. but we were like 'uh-oh' then.
OHOH, hahah, three lunch groups merged together and ran to the auditorium. hahah, we ran a big round then realised it was just besdie where we first started from -,- (!!!)

EXHILIRATING (wthhhh, i can't spell now!!! HOW COME, eh trina, how come i got your spelling dyslexia already! D:)

cheap thrills, what more can i say?

dang, i forgot, i've added my twitter here -,-

2009-05-22T20:01:00.001+08:00

hello, i've already forgotten how it feels like to swim!!!

hi dear, i'm [a little not too] over you.

2009-05-21T15:22:00.002+08:00

hi, you got me going for then and there.
hello, i'm [a little not too] over you.
stunningly gorgeous, gaping, speechless.
you left me there, waiting. then, i really believed.
now, i'm thinking "WHATTHEBUCKINGBUNNY! YOU JUST INVADED ME BRAIN!"

2009-05-19T20:01:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry, i'm not like other girls

i see a beautiful antique key
i hear the wind coming
i [don't] feel the love

i'm sorry, all these aren't making a lot of sense. fb is making me depressed. :* yet, at the same time, v happy. the fb quiz says i'm a GABBY ANGEL or was it a GAB angel? oh well, anyhow, it's the angel who talked the Mary who bore Jesus. so i'm a special angel! :D this makes me happy! :) BUT, some stuff are making me sad ): try guessing, man!

i've got a faithful God. :D

2009-05-18T18:54:00.003+08:00

Galatians 4:9
"But now that you know God- or rather are known by God- how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserably principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?"

those chains of loneliness and fear i do not want to shackle myself to anymore. those chains that God had broken and released me into the joy of being in His freedom. i would certainly be insane to turn back to those miserable days.
there are times i find myself looking back. and i pray for forgivness.
i want to forget what lies behind and press forward, all eyes and hearts on the incredible prize of knowing God and living in Him.
i will run the race and be strong&courageous

2009-05-17T20:39:00.003+08:00

i luv strawberries
i just came back from malacca
i thank God, for good weather and safe trip!
--
i'm really happy. my cousin told me he is 'anti-christian' (no offences, okay?) but, i know God made it this way. By His power and grace, i will overcome this, to build the convenant God told me about earlier in the year. anyway, that's not the thing i'm happy about (my cousin being 'anti christian' and all). but it just means he doesn't understand. and maybe some explanation may help! :D

2009-05-15T18:16:00.004+08:00

"it's not your fault, don't apologise"

why do i care so much?

--
i've been writing here with one-liners. i think i should start figuring out how to update on my twitter, that i've not used since i registered, which is like, what, since january. sorry, i don't know how to spell january

2009-05-14T15:54:00.002+08:00

"barricade the road to nowhere and i will choose the true road to somewhere" (Psalms 119)
yes, iluv parachute band 8D
OH, apparently, my chinese name means BEAUTIFUL JADE mmhmmm, iLUV.
cherlyn's happy jade, nah, not as pretty as mine! :D jonlai's intellectual philantropist. HAHAH, so funny. did i mention that? hahah, it's okay.

what more can i say? FLIRT

prayer request

2009-05-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

hifriendzees! i'm writing this second post of the day for a prayer request:

pray for me that this restored faith of mine will remain strong. that this peaceful faith that God's wonderful actions have restored never fade away again.

THANKYOU! 8D

2009-05-13T18:57:00.002+08:00

FRIENDS, if you are a christian, please join CHRISTIAN REPUBLIC. it's kewl ttm (i think it's funny that people make up funny acronyms!) anyway, you can join too if you're a pre-believer! because it will strengthen your faith with all the pretty testimonies! (though i've not read them yet!)

am i loyal? (to friends& God) i'm torn between two answers (duh, of course it's yes/no) when, i'm loyal, i'll have integrity. when, i'm a person of integrity, people wil trust me. yes? if i don't abuse this precious trust put in me, i'll be righteous! hmmm, yes. i get it now.

"he who pursues righteouness and loyalty finds life" (Proverbs 21:21)

yes, in loyalty&righteouness, my God has promised me an abundant life!

2009-05-12T18:45:00.002+08:00

ICAN'T WAIT TO GET MY DAILY BREAD FROM DIANA! :D well, because it's sold out at booknook :*
CAN'T WAIT, can't wait

i've just realised, for the past few exciting nights (not to mention short, BUT fruitful) of qt, i've been praying to God, with my focus on the problems i'm facing now. and my focus in prayer should be on our Heavenly Father! hmmm, i'll keep that in mind.
i'm so excited. just talking to friends about church. (though it's about asking people whom i know in ym :* [ iluvthisnewface, it's the new -_-] which i'll admit, i don't know many people. YM's A BIG GROUP, YKNOW! hahah) oh wellz, it's a beginning!

OHOH, i made beautiful notebooks for qt. you see, i feel hesitant to right on books that i don't really like. SO I MADE BEAUTIFUL PRETTY LITLLE NOTEBOOKS! they are the LUV.

omgoodness, i found this daily devotional podcast for itunes! eggciting! :D yknow, there's a daily devotional on facebook too! luvluv. :D

truth be told, i'm not a good christian, although i may seem to be. heard of the saying "looks are deceiving"? well, though this may not be deceiving. but i really hope that this newly-found/restored/refreshed/rejuvenated faith will remain strong and rooted within me. & that no matter what i do, my thoughts/actions/language will be God-oriented(sp). i really hope this faith will remind me everyday.

Joshua 1:9

2009-05-11T19:54:00.002+08:00

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will always be with you wherever you go"
Joshua 1:9

is this coincidental? it's the same scripture Iris wrote on Di's birthday card. well, i'm doing qt with Joshua (the book, that is!!!) now. so it's this scripture that actually caught ny attention, well, because strong&courageous have been repeated a few times.

this can be meant a few weeks agao, before natl's. this can also be meant after natl's when i was really down. this can also mean now&forever, and i really hope it's the latter.

anyhow, this scripture was really easy to memorize when i read it (like only once!!!) so it's just meant to be so, i guess. it's a scripture of assurance.

i have a faithful God. He will be there. (:

should i be afraid, that i'm not like the other girls? sorry, no.

2009-05-10T20:33:00.001+08:00

in Jesus i believe, my faith will thus be sealed with His holy spirit.
a sealed promise, i shall seek to fulfil.

2009-05-08T19:29:00.002+08:00

Jesus's my King, I'm His princess! :D
so, i shall lift my head high because my Father loves, with a heart like none other! &i want to share this love, with the lost sheeps, to bring them to the good shepard!
but, i shall bow my head down in humility

rejuvenated, refreshed
remember what i said?
keep your eyes open,
the day will soon befall
have faith, it's your ticket to salvation

2009-05-05T17:39:00.002+08:00

mind my words. shut your trap, bitch.
fine, i'm the most indelicate person on earth. i'm awful.

that look in your eyes, those strumming actions, that lock of hair that fell.
you captivated my heart and locked it in a precious box.

2009-04-30T21:44:00.002+08:00

dang, i realized i posted some v personal stuff on the swim blog& i deleted it already
i really hope someone did not see it
well, at least its personal enough to be posted only on my own blog
otherwise, it will create tonnes of trouble, of which i already have enough

well, i don't want to type it all out again

one sentence: life sucks ballzz

2009-04-28T19:21:00.002+08:00

when i keep quiet, you ask me why i'm not talking. because i would be yapping away
when i talk, you tell me to keep quiet
when i actually do, you make me feel sad D:

i don't like the feeling of being irritated!
EVERYDAY'S A BAD HAIR DAY FOR ME, I HATE MY HAIR. D:

2009-04-27T18:11:00.003+08:00

today hasn't been great either D:
well, i should be happier! TOMORROW'S NATL'S! :D
apparently, i'm not.
i should be studying now. but i'm not. and i don't think i'm well-prepared for tomorrow's common test, unlike last term's geography! D:
i'm down with a sore throat! is that a valid reason for me to be moody? i think i have the rights not to talk now. although i'll be chatting away again tomorrow!
I'MDRINKINGHONEY HAHAH (not v funny -__-)

yesterday, you made my heart flutter to the skies

2009-04-26T15:19:00.002+08:00

stop testing my patience
--
sorry, if i'm v quiet of late. sorry, if i don't talk like a fool anymore. sorry, if i just ignore you. sorry, if i actually pissed you off. sorry, if you think i was being emo. sorry, if i don't know how to communicate with some people now. sorry, i'm really sorry.
it's just that i'm pretty upset recently. although i have absolute no perfect reason to be. well, there is, but i'm not gna say it here.
sometimes, i want to brake. then i'll accelerate&speed, because i've seen a terrible person in you
--
on a happier note, "welcome to ym". THELOVE :D

2009-04-24T21:11:00.004+08:00

after today, i'm even more disappointed today. i guess my disappointment in myself won't fade away until nationals are actually over. srsly, i'll start training already. i'll learn to kick. i'll learn to pace. i'll learn not to procrastinate about my events.

yes, i have slow reaction
yes, i AM slow

but, so what! D:
mmhmm, i should really stop here. i'm being a really sad person

today, i felt really horrible. i was tired&sad. how pathetic. i'm sympathising with myself now! D:

2009-04-23T20:47:00.002+08:00

yes, i've deleted yesterday's rants on 100free. because, i was ranting! and i wasn't making much sense anyway! D:

bittersweetonehundred &disappointingtwohundred

i'm vv disappointed in myself.
why can't i pace! why do i swim so fast onthe first lap, when i jolly well know how my race plan goes! 4beatkick. i think i did that (i did kick, okay! at leats i tried, heheh) but how could i have gone a 42 with a 4beatkick. if i really did a 4beatkick, it means that i've not been swimming to expectations during training/trials. okay, i should probably stop. it's turning into another stupid, silly rant.

this year, i'm working on my speed &i'll learn to pace myself! D:

p/s ILURVTHERELAYS, AWESOME! :D

2009-04-21T15:32:00.003+08:00

nationals' tomorrow. i feel normal, quite fat, but not as fat as yesterday (hahah, don't ask why) KINDERBUENO<3 heheh i really should be studying geog now. because i'll have no time to do so later this week. tomorrow onwards, that is. all the way... till monday. and then i'll revise again. then ON TUESDAY&WEDNESDAY, FINALS, BABY! :D
i'm v v v happy. andrea got into finals. 7th. SEVENTH 七 THANK YOU ANDREA FOR DOING SCSWIMPROUD! (i don't think you'll read this though, hawhaw)
RAEANNE! IT'S OKAY! IT'S ALRIGHT! SCSWIMWILLSTILL<3YOU heheh. you'll do well on thursday! because you're a speedyshark! (we should really have a speedyshark family! HAHAH)
i've already planned what i'll eat tomorrow. because if i don't, i'll probably gorge on nasilemak(withextraextraextraCHILI, omgosh, LOVE) and californiahandrolls(though it's not v nice). so, i'll bring a banana&KINDERBUENO(LOVE). in school, i'll buy an apple, for BREAK. so i'll eat the kinder during recess. and the banana in the cab. HEHE

irefuseto.eggciting.

JEREMIAH 30:6
haven't i told you? warnings are more frequent. and i really need to tell this to everyone. but no one's listening! i'm scared. i really need to. perfect love cast out all fear. (somewhere in 1john, if i'm not wrong, chapt 19) :D

when will you stop, stay &listen?

2009-04-20T17:45:00.002+08:00

i refuse to be afraid of those strong&muscle-y swimmers
i refuse to be scared of nationals
i refuse to be dq-ed
i refuse to come in a humilating last (yknow, like an eternity after the 2nd last comes in)
i refuse, i refuse

2009-04-18T19:33:00.001+08:00

ifeellikeatotalwreck/ifeellikeatotalhypocrite/ihopeiamnotlikethat/butithinkiam D;

2009-04-13T18:54:00.002+08:00

i've been praying everyday, (well, at least when i do QT), to allow myself to put everything in God's hands. because, ultimately, Jesus died for our sins. and we all know, Jesus died for us, sinners. and we also know, that Jesus rose again on EASTER for the glory of God, that all glory to God, our heavenly Father. i acknowledge my God's ways are (definitely) higher than the heavens. and so, whatever plans my God has planned in store for me will be what's best for me. because my God loves me with such love, greater than no other, such love, that is better than any earthly love, i've ever seen. i've been praying to exchange me judgements, and my fears, for God to be the deciding factor in my life.

TODAY, I PROCLAIM GOD'S LORDSHIP OVER MY LIFE.
TODAY, I LEARNT TO LET GO OF THINGS.

what have you learnt today?

2009-04-11T14:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPYHOLYWEEK
should it even be happy? idk.

rae's comp should be done now. i should think she did well! :D 50 breaststroke, 200/400 free. hmmm, at least she got to try a comp 200. i tried yesterday, and i almost died. esp, on the 3rd lap. i can't. i can't do a 4beat kick. so a 6beat kick is definitely out of the question! D:i think i'm gna humillate myself. because it will be an eternity of an infinite seconds after everyone touched the wall that i complete a 200. i just can't do a 200m. i'm not confident anymore.

i need You, more&more.

2009-04-09T16:02:00.002+08:00

ilikeitthatyou'reanaddiction, butsometimesidon'tlikeit
ilikeitthatyoureply, butsometimesyoudon't
ilikeitthatyou'reonline

i stiffen as the program faces me again.

i think i'm overly paranoid

but, how can you not be?

2009-04-08T20:01:00.002+08:00

i'mafatblobofFatLittleAbs, what's the point anyway!
i decided to run with airmelia, during recess, after kickboxing. appraently i went to eat nasilemak (yes, again&esther seems to have taken a liking to nasilemak too! :D) *gasp. soi'mofficiallythefatblobthatwillowneveryoneinflabbefiedblabs. hmmm, try firguring out what that is, i dare you. not that difficult anyway. :D

by Your grace and power, i'm free.

break me today. break me from within.

ijustwantabreak.abreakfromeverything.
really, that's all i want.

&today, i talked about 2kinds of break

2009-04-07T21:18:00.002+08:00

i'm soverextremely scared. i'm afraid. and every single day is an increasing reminder.
but i'll hold on. i'll hang in there. this time, i'm not kidding. and i really am praying.

mission impossible

2009-04-06T13:37:00.003+08:00

i refuse to contend with a b4 for chinese
i refuse to contend with an a2 for history
i refuse to fail language arts
i reuse to stop procrastinating

yes, i refuse to. the list can go on, but i guess this is what i'll refuse to do for now. apparently, they all have got to do with school. but i'll hang in there, because my God's power is with me. my God's righteous right hand will uphold me, no matter how horrible this monster is eating at me.

salvation is here. i know You love me, i know You died for me, i know You cared.

today, i will declare my God's love for me. and tomorrow, i will rejoice in His love for me. and the day after tomorrow, i will admit that Christ Jesus died on the cross, to save the world, to rescue me from my sins. forever&ever, i will submit myself to God, the higher power, the mighty one, the beautiful saviour! PRAISE THE LORD

that's the reason i look to you, Lord. because no one else will do. no one else will do, Jesus.
draw me close to you, my Heavenly Father. there's never been a time i wanted you so much. never been a time i wanted to talk to you so much. so today, my Father, i ask you to reveal yourself to me! cleanse me, o Holy Spirit. renew me, o Holy Spirit. bring me closer to you. drawme to my roots o Lord. break me from the spirit of destruction, Father. there's never been a time i felt so close to you, but everytime i do, i fall back again. i guess i'm feeling what they said at camp. my Lord God Almighty, take me deeper! take me deeper in love with you! embrace me within your arms o Lord!

i love you, Jesus.

(change topic)you keep me in awe. you keep me in suspense. you keep me wanting, thirsting for more. you're an addiction. i like it every time you reply. but now, you keep me waiting. you make me think, sometimes i try too hard. and i don't like how that is. i don't like it.

attaining the unattainable

2009-04-05T20:25:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i don't mind being seem as a retarded teenybopper, bopping to teenbobby tunes, intoxicating myself with dumb amounts of alcohol that may kill.
but there are restrictions. and everytime the thrill to do something bad hits me, God pulls me back. God grounds me to Him. i may sound like i'm blaming God for all this, but i am not. or at least i hope i'm not. i refuse to blame God. Because God's ways are always higher than ours, higher than the heavens.

how wonderful, how beautiful, Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus.
Jesus, beautiful saviour, risen king

yes, i know, they might not be exactly right. but this comes from memory of this morning's service. i think it's good. whenever i ask questions within myself, God knows, and God answers through classes like this mornings! hmmm, my God is truly a good God! :D

2009-04-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

hmmm, good talks (on msn) with smartypantstwigmel. realised some things that i haven't. but it's okay, i'll keep in my prayer for God to open the ancient gates of my heart to understand what He says! :D
--
BOOZE. fine, this word shouldn't even be up here. but it's an addiction. it's killing me from the inside. a bondage.
everyday: an increasing reminder&trepidation

MYGODISGREAT

2009-03-31T20:30:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i realised, while studying history (don't ask me how). i was just whispering a simple shout of praise to God, like it was a little secret, "thank God!" And this thought was came to my mind (praise the Lord): Give praise to the Lord for every little joy you're blessed with. because it's a gift from the Lord God Almighty. Even when the situation is dire, or seemd like it was in the gutters, or perhaps the rock bottom, always thank God, because things could be much worse than this. today, i thank God no matter how bad i'm feeling. because i believe in God, and so i'll live a victorious life as long as my faith is in God. :D
i can't always be at optimum speed

2009-03-29T15:55:00.002+08:00

FAITH, i yearn for it. and i'll keep praying. keep praying, because my God answers prayers!
3weeks time, i'll probably drown and humilate myself. -.-
but my God is great. i don't need anything else except my God, even if that means i have to be the butt of all jokes.

ugli-ness

2009-03-28T19:19:00.002+08:00

i've seen through ______, and i'll say it ain't a pretty sight.
in fact, the world i've seen was ugly. every single pore on it was screaming in grotesque pain.
those words 'what the...' came so easily, so smoothly it made me doubt, just how much i meant before. probably, i meant nothing?
but, i know everything will still turn out fine. everything will still be alright. nothing is too much of a challenge for my God.
Lord, i know Your promise stand. i believe. sometimes, i feel like i'm slipping away. eveyrthing seems to disappoint me. everything feels so dry within, it's like i've got a desert in me, and i'm drowning. but You caught me, Lord God Almighty! Hallelujah! Lord, i pray for You to ground me by You. may my faith in You grow stronger as i learn to grow in Your love, Lord. today, i'll say that i'll wait for You. i'll wait for the Lord. i'll be strong and wait for the Lord, my God, the One who has shown me how gloriously beautiful He is time and again. Jesus, i ♥ You.

early week

2009-03-27T19:09:00.003+08:00

slapping my face with a freaking pompom is so uncalled for
these few days have basically been easy, i've not been studying. and that's why i can be sleeping at 8.30 every night. yes, beat that. somehow, it's making me sluggish. D: and sleeping so early, just means that i've not been doing my quiet time, and i've not been talking to God. hmmm, and it doesn't make me feel good, it shouldn't anyway! it makes me feel, worse? and today, tables have been turned. i've realised (maybe you haven't?) it just struck me, just how much i need/want a back to lie against. how much i yearn for someone, to sit down and listen to my rants. yes, when i say listen i mean it. just listening. how much i need sometime to slow down a little, and look back. or probably just some time to keep quiet and observe. today, everything's took the toll on me. and i what i felt inside was horrible. it was some monster that was eating me in the inside, and i'm drowning, further.
it doesn't make me feel better that i'm not doing well in history. having a B in term 1 is bad.
but it's okay, my God will suffice. my God will provide.
just yesterday, i thought i felt Him stirring in my heart, to just wake up and read the bible. so i woke up and read. well, one chapter, maybe two. and went to sleep. it wasn't productive. but my God is good. and i know my God will catch me when i fall. my God will ground me by Him. i love You.
this is lengthy. but everything that's happened, just like a whirlwind, made me face the fact just how frail i am. and i need to admit it. i need to admit how fragile i am for my God's strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. yes, my God will provide. i need You more and more, Jesus. rain down on me, come and touch me again. in Your presence, i'm free. i'm still praying for God to break me. and i know, with faith, He will.
talking about God has made me realise that whatever happens, i will ultimately turn my heart to God. i feel so dry within, so dry, it feels like i've got a desert in me, rain down on me, Lord!

2009-03-22T16:31:00.004+08:00

my God's my giant. with my God, there's no limits.
and today, i pray to God to break me. allow me to break free from my past. break free from my limitations, for i'm made perfect in my God. my God is the deciding factor. because He can choose between the talents and the hurt to piece His original design into place, but He chose this challenge (nothing's too much of a challenge for my God :D) of using the hurt. and it will all turn out beautifully. my God is in the business of miracles. i love my God

i'm running back to the heart of worship,
it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus.

just this week's art, i chose the song heart of worship to present my art with. and today, during preservice prayer, the first song they played was this. how great is my God, sing with me how great is my God. my God is great

2009-03-21T17:14:00.003+08:00

not only you, i'm extremely disappointed in myself. i don't know what to do. have you not realised i'm utterly hopeless at art? all i can do was to ask you for help. but i guess it seemed like i was slacking on my side? i don't even know if i should say i wasn't slacking because then, i would seem like i was pushing the blame off myself? i seriously don't get it. i'm trying to do up one too, but it seemed so forced, so fake that i don't like it. so, i'll try to do one up, now, yes, this very moment. i don't know, but i guess i'll try.

I ♥ TODAY, so much you don't know

2009-03-20T17:23:00.002+08:00

you made my day D:
i ♥ today's training, just so much (i mean it, not like how we wrote on lenny's wall). firstly, because today's friday, and there won't be training tomorrow (what comes after friday? you tell me) and today's training was a real slacker. as compared to the other days. :D

what an eventful day

2009-03-19T18:23:00.002+08:00

fine, it's not exactly eventful. but what happened was enough to traumarama me. D: but it's okay, i think buddy has gone through more traumarama than me. IT'S OKAY BUDDY! :D
okay, it's over already. all is fine!
"how i wish life was like that"
baby, throughout the movie, all i ever had in my mind was you. images kept playing itself on repeat, like a never ending show

2009-03-18T16:20:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to ♥ training (NOT)
THE SLIGHTEST SNIDE COMMENT THAT YOU MAKE HURTS ME, SO BADLY
i don't want to hear anything from anyone, but You
i shall write in small words, and you shall squint till your eyeballs are gna pop out
thanks, those comments helped a lot (NOT)
if only, i were michael phelps. the very first thing i would do right now, would be to flush out those lactic acids in my muscles now. probably, phelps wouldn't even fell these lactic acids right? idk.
with every stroke, these muscles ache in utter pain. the burning sensation that sears through every single micro-muscle. the raw feeling out being exposed. and i don't like this feeling
it's never easy. i know, these trainings will pay off (i'm not sure now). but procrastinating for me has always been a 24/7 thing, hasn't it? i've always procrastinating about school, about training, about tuition, about everything. and yet, at the end of the day, i sit down, to thank God for everything, even though i procrastinate about them. how ironic, isn't it?

yes, i'm ranting
TOMORROW, i'm gna train&notslack (i've never been, it's you who think i always am. this is just how i am; never fast), don't laugh, i mean it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -.-

i'm needing You more&more

2009-03-17T15:16:00.004+08:00

today, there was lightning hazard. today, we did land training (i ttly cheated). today, we did land with the synchro coach (yay!). today, we were supposed to do 27x100. today, we (/i) died at lap 21. today, we're told that we'll do this again tomorrow.
tomorrow, we can expect 27x100, and more sets. tomorrow, i'll probably die.
today, i'm told my 100m free was fast. it was 1:57, and it's not fast at all. today, i realised i'm so far from qualifying times, yet i'm competing. today, i found out that i will crash for nationals.
--
God, i'm needing more&more of You, of Your strength, of Your power. God, take me deeper, deeper into your warm embrace, take me deeper, deeper in love with You. i love you, Jesus.
for everything, i thank You.
--
i can't pull fast enough, i can't kick hard enough, and i'm getting disappointed with my times.
bring me closer to You.

how i wish, upon a gorgeous star, time would stop for me

2009-03-15T16:54:00.008+08:00

and when i reach the wall, time starts again.
today's training was apparently cope-a-ble, but it made me feel horrible, if not worse.
how about having a 100m free kick for ____ (to embarassing to be typed here)
because of that stupid timing, i deserved a scolding (not the funny ones, where i could get out by laughing), and missed a 100.
and it doesn't help much that i know remind myself that nationals are in 35days and there are 11 more trainings.

and- i think something amazing happened yesterday,
i'm pretty sure i was falling off my bed (don't ask me how), but i woke up, and God said to me:
i'll catch you
and i know, my God's so wonderful, He won't let me fall away. i love You, Jesus.

can't pull fast enought, can't kick fast enough, not up to your expectations, not up to my expectations

but my God's power will be made perfect in my weaknesses, and i for that, i rejoice in His love, today.

Isaiah 42

2009-03-12T19:13:00.002+08:00

My God is a God of second chances. My God is a God who doesn't forsake, for He will be a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, He will lead the blind from the darkness. My God is awesome.
My God has promised me something special. My God is good.
I LOVE MY GOD

the good and the bad

2009-03-08T15:25:00.002+08:00

God's not just interested in forgiving. He wants to heal.
today's service good. i went forward, and was prayed for by this lady. while waiting for someone to pray for me, i just tucked my hands in my pockets. until i lifted them to my waist, i started tearing and somehow, my shoulders just shhok uncontrollably. they were shaking so badly, even though i wasn't crying that hard. it wasn't till the lady prayed for me that i really cried.
--
i feel so horrible now, so sinful, even though i know i have a God who forgives. At home, i blocked God out. and it feels terrible. so terrible, i never want to sin anymore.
--
Lord, i pray that you may teach Your church to pray, to worship You not just with their lips, O Lord, but to worship You from their hearts. Lord, i ask of You, O Lord, to teach us to cry out to You and honour You in a way that is pleasing to You. Lord, i pray that You will always be prevalent in our lives, O Lord, continue wokring those miraculous hands of Yours in our lives. May Your Holy Spirt carry on stirring in our hearts, to act out Your love for us, O Lord.
--
this post is so wordy. but it's worthy. i don't ever want to block God out ever again. i want God to be involved in me. i offer to God my life, for Him to work wonders in me, so that i may be a testimony of His awesome-ness.

2009-02-28T16:00:00.002+08:00

adventure camp's really great.
i prayed and prayed before i did the abseiling, and god spoke to me, "dare to".
the moment before i stepped off, i felt like nothing was on my mind, and all i thought of was, DARE TO.
PRAISE THE LORD MAN!

2009-02-16T17:44:00.001+08:00

and, yes, here's my promise, i'll wait and i'll wait, with all my heart, for You.
i promise to promise not to break any promises.

look, IT'S VALENTINES!

2009-02-12T21:05:00.002+08:00

valentiney's on sat. and look(!) i've got a date by the pool! WTH?! there's still training.
--
i thank God for looking out for the swimteam throughtout the carnival on tues. then, i was lost, and stressed and frustrated and scared that i'll probably fail my history. then monday morning, something great happened. and He spoke to me through His scriptures. and i feel really blessed. because monday was like a hectic day ahead, and i was dreading it. The scriptures really spoke to my heart, about everything that has happened recently. and, yes, PRAISE THE LORD! :D
--
wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

i'm HAPPILY EVER AFTER (not!)

2009-01-28T14:41:00.002+08:00

EUNICE IS HAPPILY EVER AFTER/ hear my heart shatter/ stare within the depths of those stained glass shards/ are you happy?
(above) my personal message on msn. and i'm not happy, not a single bit.
25th JAN, my heart died

EUNICE IS HAPPILY EVER AFTER with God

2009-01-25T15:02:00.002+08:00

i don't wanna see you ever again
i'm happily ever after,
are you happy with my answer?
because, you break my heart
hear the shatters? see the shards of glass?
here's your answer
/leave me alone
--
churched, and apparently, today's service is combined, and it's really awesome. :D
--
thank you, and goodbye

show-and-tell

2009-01-09T17:55:00.002+08:00

i've realised i've not been blogging much. everything been's so whirl-wind-ish, that i can't explain. but today's fun. sometimes, i have this surge of happiness in my heart. and i can't help but bounce when i walk. or i can't help but smile like a retard. and i know, all this is because God's with me all these times.

there's a verse i wanna share:
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for i ma your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
(Isaiah 41:10)

and then, i'm convinced He's with me, even though i've not felt Him since ym camp.
my God's awesome. He's omnipresent.
He'll always be with me, and i'm sure of that.

Glory, Glory
Hallelujah,
He reigns!

Lord, i'm with you.

2008-12-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

YM camp's been real good.
God's been good/awesome/with us throughout camp. we were really spiritually high.
so, bascially, he revealed himself to me. and i heard him.
--
The same power that conquered the graves
lives in me
lives in me
Your love that rescued the Earth
lives in me
lives in me
--
oh here i stand
arms open wide
oh i am Yours
and You're mine
--
Lord, i love/need you.

a lung-ful of CRAP!

2008-12-12T20:40:00.002+08:00

i realised:
1. i've been saying 'rubbish shit' for tons of times. and always in public. i don't even know what the effing thing it means. and it just sounds- bad.
2. 'eu' means 'good' in greek. so i supposed to be good-nice. yeah. try that!
3. i love yakking and yakking away.

training yesterday:
1. jumping up the stairs make me feel like a kanga (and it sucks)
2. i always get caught for cheating in power claps. (God knows what that means)
3. land training's been uber powder-ful.
4. was practically awesome minus the power power part. (i'm power ranger!)
5. am getting retarded ( do you like teletubbies? do you prefer bobby pins to clicky pins?) WTF?!
6. coach's first crush in called duanqin. HAHAHA. broken piano.
7. and RAE, you can totally be a scriptwriter! B)

shush...

DAMN!

2008-12-06T20:31:00.001+08:00

zomg. i came back from aussie. and i gained 2kg! ahh.
--
i take the promise back. it's not worth it.
--

hi!

2008-11-16T16:19:00.001+08:00

hi, i'm (not so) eunice. and i'm currently superduperuber obssesed with sewing. yes, call me a gran.

remorseful,
you-nice!

2008-11-14T13:15:00.002+08:00

i don't seem to understand you anymore.
don't seem to understand MYSELF anymore.
why?
good question.

honestly,

2008-11-12T12:32:00.002+08:00

to be honest, i'm so sick of all these. all those 'ohh! you've changed!'. seriously, it's just a plastered smile. happy? good. fake? but, so what?

sick.

2008-11-11T11:43:00.002+08:00

i'm so sick, so tired, so (very!) disgusted. oh,
i don't know why. why i'm feeling so.
very perturbed. with everything.
is there a thing,
in me that's wrecking havoc?
--
p/s; i hate this feeling!

2008-11-10T14:11:00.002+08:00

zomg, RRRAE's birthday's today! i can't believe how i forgot about her. birthday, that is. i actually remembered yesterday. and i was up till 12 midnight. and i had plans to sms her at 12! hmph. ); aww, rae, sorreee! ;D
--
happy 13th BURF-day RRRAE! *mega-watt beam*
--
i can't wait for monday's swim camp. (can someone tell me WHAT TIME is it?!) hahahha. then i'll stay overnight. and go for training (?!). then rush home. get changed (and a bath) and then off to the airport. yay.
--
RRRAE! i'll prolly get your prezzie at the prettaye bazzar at tas, kay? your cupcake purse will prolly take a longer time. i bet i'll take a superduperuber long time to figure out how to use an ancient (VINTAGE! ><) sewing machine. hee. (;

do you?

2008-11-08T19:46:00.002+08:00

i'm losing trust in you.
in you. and you. in everyone.
i believe you. but, do you?
you're the one
the antidote, to strengthen
my faith.
--
i think i'm being emo again. aww, manzxzx... D;

AWESOME TO THE MAXZXZ

2008-11-07T16:17:00.003+08:00

i'm such a genius (?) while waiting for my chicken patty to be ready in the oven, i started stetching my back. and trying to do all those (supposedly) good stretches for aches. then, i didn't know i was standing super close to the referigerator. and then... WHAM! zomg, for a moment, i thought i fractured some bone or whatever. because there was this superduperuber sharp pain. yeah, right, i'm such a klutz. >< and, now when i try to bend it and unbend it (HA! picture it!) it hurts.
i'm so AWESOME, right? (NOT!) -.-
--
don't give me anymore lemons,
or i'll seriously give you lemonades.
--
zomg, that was supposed to sound emo. mmkay, maybe not. but somewhere along that line. but it sounds like some joke. HAHAHAHA. (pregnant pause) WTF?!

DANG it.

2008-11-06T10:30:00.006+08:00

zomg, that effing _______!
DANG IT!
trust, is something i need from you. but it's getting tougher and tougher...
--
i still can't upload CAMP(ROCK!) photos. ); but, i've found a brilliant idea. PHOTOBUCKET! just remembered it. however, it's uploading superduperuber slow. it's slow to the maxxxzxzx. awww, man!
--
do you ever feel guilty about saying this? (different person as to previous post)
--
(drumroll)...

BEIJING peeps #1

BEIJING smexy concubines XD

BEIJING machos. ><

BEIJING peeps #2

BEIJING peeps #3

BEIJING banner

zomg, this is so AWESOME! BEIJING group got two OLYMPIANS!

AHA! a FAN!

my messy BED!

coach's OLD FRIEND (it's a small world after all!)

SHARKY #3!

EARTHQUAKE floor

huh, a LOUDHAILER?!

rewind.

2008-11-05T20:21:00.003+08:00

i'm falling into an abyss.
you've just opened a pandora's box.
thank you, very much.

i look back at the past three days at camp and i realised i the ultimate dummy to even confirm _____ on mon. sleeping at late hours, risking panda eyes. i was seriously a dummy.

it's not a new experience
but i'm shocked
to hear this from you.

i never knew, this was how you felt. i never knew it was me. i'm sorry.
i promise, to change. and i know, i'll change. for the better. i know He will be there for me.

all of a sudden, emotions from camp has faded into the dark shadows of the night, without my knowing.

thank you, very very much. and, no. i won't cry over stupid little nothings.

YOG CAMP(ROCK!)

2008-11-05T19:34:00.002+08:00

zomg, i so-so-so lurbeiiezxzxzxz (TWIT!) YOG camp. it's the ultimate.
now, the PRETTAYE photos in camp. (drumroll...) mmkay, there aren't lots. BUT, i took pictures in the school's (professional) camera till there was no battery and only 1 empty space left in the memory card. *mega-watt beam!* (mmkay, continue drumroll...)
okay, apparrently, blogger can't seem to upload them. mmkay, ANTI CLIMAX.
next time...

aching D;

2008-10-31T10:08:00.002+08:00

my ribs are like aching like mad. after doing all the freestyles ytd. or, is it the twist sit ups? hmmm. anyway, do back muscles stretch to your lower ribs till the extend that it can affect them?

http://theprofessionalducks.blogspot.com !

2008-10-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

i wanna pint of benandjerry's ice cream now.
even haagen dazs is fine.
all i have now is just a pint of Nestle yoghurt. and a box of black grapes. guess i'll have to settle for it. D;